So today we were sitting in a cab at a street light headed to the convention center, minding our own business - everything was fine. Then, out of nowhere, I notice something out of place. Namely what appeared to be a mobile SAM site on the back of some camouflaged military truck. WTDF? My first thought: I haven't seen this since watching "Spies Like Us" when I was a kid. Oh Chevy Chase, whatever happened to you? Fletch, Spies Like Us, Vacation - I miss the good ol' days. But I digress.
Remaining calm, I figured it was some special kind of air-conditioned tractor trailer hauling frozen Taiwan goodness into the heart of the city. Surely there wouldn't be a mobile SAM site rolling through downtown Taipei. But then there was another, and another, and some other freaky-cool shit - all pointed at a 30 degree angle towards the heavens. All camouflaged. All moving on the street in front of me.
Oh shit!
As soon as I regained my composure, resisting the urge to "run the fuck the other way" - which incidentally is normally what happens when I see missiles anywhere in my vicinity - my relatively retarded cohorts mention that it is National Day in Taiwan. Yay! Much like our Independence Day in the states, what better way to celebrate your nation's independence than by blowing up a small portion of it? (stolen from The Simpsons 3F22- I'm not that funny)
By the time I pushed my primitive, instinctual urges of self-preservation deep into the depths of my subconscious, I enjoyed the display of military might rolling prominently. You don't get this shit back home.
After that we meandered around the convention for a bit. I swear, every piece of shit, knock off electronic bullshit device is all under this one roof. Every useless electronic device, whether you bought it from an infomercial or the express line at the drug store, began its sad, sad life at this show. Occasionally we would stumble across something interesting / inventive / or cool. Usually we would not. I felt like I was in the 21st century version of Dante's 6th inner ring of hell, a space previous occupied in my mind by the Fry's return line. But again, I digress.
We did head up to the observation deck of Taipei 101, the world's tallest building a really tall f'n building. That was pretty cool, except for the fact that the tower was engulfed by a fucking cloud. Good times. I've never been quite that far up the ass of a cumulus. What was interesting though is that there is a huge mass damper at the top of the tower - a 662 metric ton steel pendulum counterweight suspended between the 92nd and 88th floors. You definitely don't see one of those everyday - unless of course you work at a mass damper factory.
BBC coverage of Taiwan's military might here.
